awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
