I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
