After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize