Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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