i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize