Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad

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  (206): Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad http://tfl.nu/uv9f
  Replies (21) Good night (1542) Bad night (826)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it

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  (631): Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it http://tfl.nu/0u81
  Replies (1) Good night (1152) Bad night (568)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night

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  (541): I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night http://tfl.nu/6f3k
  Replies (6) Good night (1373) Bad night (3569)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson

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  (631): Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson http://tfl.nu/hv6u
  Replies (27) Good night (812) Bad night (2650)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?

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  (480): how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back? http://tfl.nu/0voi
  Replies (35) Good night (861) Bad night (3499)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far

  (713): View more from Texas

  Sounds better than last semester

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  (214): So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far (713): Sounds better than last semester http://tfl.nu/9h5w
  Replies (12) Good night (1670) Bad night (4671)
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  (818): View more from California

  Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.

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  (818): Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in. http://tfl.nu/o2x8
  Replies (9) Good night (1383) Bad night (2442)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating

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  (516): Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating http://tfl.nu/ijjp
  Replies (12) Good night (2500) Bad night (948)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties

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  (731): He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties http://tfl.nu/51c2
  Replies (5) Good night (3020) Bad night (726)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?

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  (256): Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters? http://tfl.nu/uct5
  Replies (6) Good night (1097) Bad night (589)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can

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  (412): attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can http://tfl.nu/zc74
  Replies (7) Good night (748) Bad night (1406)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.

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  (314): Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back. http://tfl.nu/xqdn
  Replies (4) Good night (1210) Bad night (406)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?

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  (630): How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday? http://tfl.nu/cltz
  Replies (5) Good night (806) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.

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  (360): I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this. http://tfl.nu/75ao
  Replies (4) Good night (355) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Remember when I said I had my shit together?

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  (203): I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room..... (203): Remember when I said I had my shit together? http://tfl.nu/xvhs
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (587)

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