ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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