Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?