Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.

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(517): View more from Michigan

dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.

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(512): View more from Texas

just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(352): View more from Florida

The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.

(1-352): View more from Florida

Oh God. You're going to jail

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?

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(614): View more from Ohio

And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat

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