I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
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He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
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I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
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