Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF

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  (714): im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF http://tfl.nu/bxu6
  Replies (12) Good night (2267) Bad night (587)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!

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  (775): What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS? (1-775): A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass! http://tfl.nu/lvgp
  Replies (16) Good night (1687) Bad night (2486)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.

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  (859): While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight. http://tfl.nu/5wwv
  Replies (46) Good night (7018) Bad night (890)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.

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  (517): Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%. http://tfl.nu/8x9e
  Replies (19) Good night (930) Bad night (4144)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.

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  (732): I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there. http://tfl.nu/dxiw
  Replies (7) Good night (3976) Bad night (1174)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.

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  (216): Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was. http://tfl.nu/ift5
  Replies (16) Good night (5997) Bad night (1017)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.

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  (620): Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven. http://tfl.nu/24p0
  Replies (42) Good night (9996) Bad night (1418)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.

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  (313): She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement. http://tfl.nu/rfma
  Replies (25) Good night (9586) Bad night (995)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"

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  (206): I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?" http://tfl.nu/2uiv
  Replies (22) Good night (1066) Bad night (3678)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter

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  (616): they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter http://tfl.nu/a4jz
  Replies (30) Good night (5386) Bad night (1424)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.

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  (203): Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever. http://tfl.nu/gq2j
  Replies (27) Good night (2734) Bad night (710)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  you had me at cake vodka

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  (973): you had me at cake vodka http://tfl.nu/ixlp
  Replies (14) Good night (1990) Bad night (546)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.

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  (+44): Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok. http://tfl.nu/txm6
  Replies (0) Good night (388) Bad night (684)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.

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  (312): Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it. http://tfl.nu/okpd
  Replies (5) Good night (496) Bad night (279)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.

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  (306): you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on. http://tfl.nu/ye8b
  Replies (2) Good night (318) Bad night (705)

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