Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!

  (315): View more from New York

  ... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...

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  (518): WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?! (315): ... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher... http://tfl.nu/j2jz
  Replies (19) Good night (1531) Bad night (4519)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.

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  (956): And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice. http://tfl.nu/wqun
  Replies (43) Good night (863) Bad night (3406)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.

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  (508): i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude. http://tfl.nu/zgqp
  Replies (87) Good night (26207) Bad night (4684)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito

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  (617): i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito http://tfl.nu/zxd0
  Replies (3) Good night (1642) Bad night (1523)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.

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  (919): Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick. http://tfl.nu/djhd
  Replies (23) Good night (7339) Bad night (1012)
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  (408): View more from California

  we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.

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  (408): we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this. http://tfl.nu/wyn5
  Replies (22) Good night (745) Bad night (3519)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing

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  (317): So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing http://tfl.nu/lzer
  Replies (15) Good night (3468) Bad night (1306)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.

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  (630): You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that. http://tfl.nu/mbpz
  Replies (14) Good night (1795) Bad night (1289)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.

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  (830): I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won. http://tfl.nu/nmjn
  Replies (20) Good night (3116) Bad night (1260)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.

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  (907): Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/278e
  Replies (20) Good night (6530) Bad night (777)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.

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  (+44): When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god. http://tfl.nu/0ncl
  Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (856)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Explain the King Dong next to my face.

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  (570): Explain the King Dong next to my face. http://tfl.nu/zscw
  Replies (2) Good night (379) Bad night (221)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?

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  (541): I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask? http://tfl.nu/caku
  Replies (9) Good night (1207) Bad night (344)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.

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  (403): You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend. http://tfl.nu/t4di
  Replies (3) Good night (365) Bad night (452)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"

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  (701): So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?" http://tfl.nu/ca7z
  Replies (1) Good night (305) Bad night (780)

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