My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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