We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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