This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
