should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
