Non-Jews are for practice
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
