Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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