i would punch a child for taco bell
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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