in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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