We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
