So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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