i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
