There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
