a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
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our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
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So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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