I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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