O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
