Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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