508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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