Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
