I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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