By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
