omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
