Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you win again, gameday.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize