i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I am naked and annoyed.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
