wanna go halves on a baby?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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