So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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