i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Drunk is not a location!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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