You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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