The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
did i just pee glitter
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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