so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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