She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
