for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize