arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It was a blind-side dick pic.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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