We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
