So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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