so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
