I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
