i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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