I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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