hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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