I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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