What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
