remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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