God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
