I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
