I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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