summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
