Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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