my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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